The Angel in Hell
by MadameGiry25
Summary: Lillian has spent more than a century languishing in her undersea prison. But when a certain party of men and women board her ship, she begins to wonder if maybe she can get a second chance.


**Dedicated to darkin520 as a thank you for introducing me to this fandom! This story takes place during "Knight of Shadows." Enjoy!**

Imagine that your every waking moment was filled with the sounds of your own screams and tears. Imagine that your sleep was tainted with visions of a nightmarish man, his clammy hands reaching towards your face with lust in his eyes.

Envision being trapped with that same man for all eternity, for you are trapped in the same prison. His hell is your eternal damnation and you can do absolutely nothing about it. His face will everlastingly remind you of the love that you could have experienced. His hands will remind you that he was the one who caused your Robert to die. His very presence causes memories from those awful months to come flooding back so absolutely that you cannot hope to stem the flow.

Realize that all this is true and yet is a figment of your imagination, for you can no longer sleep nor wake. You cannot eat or drink or enjoy the pastimes that you used to adore. You cannot love. You can only feel hatred and sorrow. Joy is but a dancing silhouette, a remembrance of a better time of your life.

You see him every so often, the man who shares your hell. You are alone with him and yet he does not exist because his very presence causes both of you unimaginable pain. He can't look at you anymore. You almost long for the days of old when he loved you with a deep passion if only to chase away the loneliness and despair. But you know that this can never be.

Sometimes you wonder what has happened to Robert. You know that he must be in a better place than this. Surely a man as brave and good as he was not damned to hell like the woman that he had once loved. You might even dare to hope that he still loves you, that he is waiting just over the barrier between worlds. Perhaps he even longs for you with the same deep sorrow that you feel. But it has been so long.

The same pain flows through your body over and over again in a never ending cycle of agony. You feel that cycle as it repeats itself for more than a hundred years. And it begins to drive you mad.

You forget what happened on the night the _George_ finally slipped beneath the waves, damning you to an unimaginable hell. You forget the love that you once felt for Robert and how you sacrificed yourself for the sake of his love. You forget what it feels like to love. The only emotion that you are capable of it hatred. And that hatred is exactly what keeps you in this festering prison but you don't care. You want the captain to suffer for everything that he has done to you.

Love is but a memory. Sanity is a joke. Your mind continues in that same cycle and you want to scream and cry out because you know that this is somehow wrong. But you aren't able to remember what was right.

And you are petrified that it will never stop.

Your madness begins to interfere with how you see the world. Instead of the grandeur of the ship that had so impressed you as a young girl, you see a stinking, festering prison. You see blood on the walls and bones littering the halls. Spider webs of sinew have replaced the sparkling chandelier in the ballroom. And you can see _his_ face everywhere.

You sit in what was once your quarters, the only place in the boat that you can find a modicum of comfort and peace. Peace is an illusion, even in here, but you have no other option.

Tears might have fallen down your cheeks if you were still breathing. But, as it is, you are only capable of sitting and drowning.

But something is different. Sorrow is temporarily replaced with confusion as something seems different about the boat. You can hear voices that you are certain aren't a figment of your imagination. The voices do not belong to the captain. They belong to an entirely new group of people.

A second later, the truth of this begins to register. Not just people. They are living, breathing people with blood running through their veins and flesh on their bones. They are alive. Really and truly alive.

It has been so long since you have encountered another soul that you suddenly feel a tightening in what used to be your chest. You can feel them approaching the room. A group of men. You scowl. An eternity with the captain has not left any love in your heart for any men. One of them is a child, you realize. But that makes very little difference.

You feel one of them try the doorknob of your bedroom and you scowl, locking the door with a simple twist of your mind. They begin to leave. But then something makes you stop and draw an imaginary breath.

There is a woman among them.

For them, it was a split second from the time that they tried the door and the moment that you opened it. But you have all the time in the world to decide what to do. You decide to allow the woman entry.

You open the door.

She is frightened. That is obvious. But her fear does not prevent her from slowly entering the room. You can see her eyes widen slightly with amazement. Now she is just inside the room. You pull her in and slam the door closed.

"Kristin!" It is the first time in years that you have heard another man's voice. The sound is strange and yet welcome. Now you know her name.

She tries to open the door but you relax on the bed, knowing that she will not be able to escape. You have all the time you need to decide your next move. Because you know that Kristin has the ability to help you escape from this prison. This woman of flesh and blood might just be capable of understanding. And you need to feel that understanding so badly that it aches.

You pause as you prepare to allow her to see you. Something within you that is still capable of feeling human reminds you what it feels like to be young and frightened and naïve, just like this Kristin. For the first time in a hundred years, a tear slides down your cheek. You had forgotten.

She gasps as you allow her to see what you have become. A sheet of pure energy, taking on your previous form. You were once beautiful and have no doubt that she sees you this way. But when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, you despise what you see.

The men continue to try to get in but you stop them with fire and ice. They don't matter.

You gently reach out and touch her mind. _Kristin._

She jumps at your touch. _Who are you?_

_Please. _You beg silently. _Help me. _

_How?_ You are almost surprised by the fact that she seems to agree so easily.

_Give me your body. I can use it to help your friends understand what has happened here. They can release me. Please, Kristin._

_I...I don't understand._

_Trust me._

You can see the wonder in her eyes and for a moment, you are afraid that she will refuse. But she doesn't.

_Yes._

That simple word reminds you what it is to feel joy. In that moment, you can conjure up memories that you had banished a lifetime ago because they were simply too painful. Because now you feel what you have longed to feel for a century: hope.

That hope is short lived, however, as you can feel _him_ coming. Of course. He will hate the fact that his boat is being invaded by strangers so many years after his demise. He will see them as meddling fools. You want to scream at him but cowardice reigns in your body and you vanish from sight. You don't dare confront him, even now.

Kristin appears frightened at the captain's show of anger. He warns her to leave and you silently beg him to stop but you know that if he becomes aware of your presence that any hope you have managed to salvage will be meaningless. He raises a hand to strike her and she gives a cry as he hurls her across the room.

He moves to strike her again and you know that you must do something or he will murder the only woman in existence capable of helping you to escape. She has landed on a page of your diary. You think quickly and cause the pages to silently flip until they reach your final entry. It is the only way of stopping him and you can feel no regret in your heart. Only venom.

He can see the entry. He stops and you know that you have made the right decision. You can feel his fury and sorrow all at once and it reminds you of your own pain. He begins to scream and you can almost hear your own echoes but it is too late. His fury hurls the door across the room and you know that you must act now or remain trapped in this boat for the rest of infinity.

You enter her body, closing her mind with a wave of your hand. It is awkward inside the body and you are unable to control her limbs with the same ease that you could move before. The men are in the room now and they hold you in their arms, forcing something small and black between your teeth. You feel oxygen in your lungs again. The feeling is so familiar that you begin to cry.

You are only distantly aware of what happens around you. The presence of your diary distracts you because you are no longer capable of the same human emotions that you felt when you were alive. But that doesn't matter. Your diary accounts will lead them to the true source of your misery and you know that they will not try to leave the ship until Kristin is healed.

Slowly, you allow yourself to relax and allow yourself to hope that this might be the answer to your situation. You have done all you can. Kristin will have to do the rest.

She plays her part perfectly, not trying to resist your hold on her mind. You remain vaguely aware of what happens outside of this body. The initial elation that you felt at her very presence has faded and you begin to have doubts. What if she is not able to help you? What if you have misjudged the character of the men who accompanied her? What if they try to take you away from the ship? You won't let them. You will kill them before you let them do such a thing.

That very thought makes you stop and weep because you begin to realize that you have transformed into the very beast that holds the captain prisoner. You have become your enemy.

You suddenly realize that you are in the ballroom and wonder how much earthly time has passed. You can see your own bones rotting and pain swells in your mind at the sight. Then you become distantly aware of the fact that the captain himself has entered the room. You realize that you want to sink into your own bones, something that you haven't had the courage to do in decades.

He kneels before you and you hold your breath, not sure what he will say. Guilt begins to course through you like a waterfall and you realize that there is no need to hold your breath because it simply will not come.

His words catch you off guard and a tear slides down your cheek: "I never wanted it to be this way. To hold you here." A pause. "I release you."

And those words set off a reaction of joy, elation, astonishment, and so many other emotions that you had forgotten ever existed. You can feel the release in your chest and the anger slowly dissolving. So this is what peace feels like.

"Lillian, forgive me."

And you realize that you want to forgive him. You realize that you now have the chance to right the wrongs of your misery. Those three words that he longs to hear can save the both of you. And you know that this is what you must do, for eternal salvation will never be sweet with the guilt of his damnation on your soul.

You decide to allow him to see your beauty, something that you have denied him ever since your death. "I forgive you."

"Thank you."

The words are sincere and you can see just how much he means this in his eyes. Their tortured visage slowly dissolves to be replaced with something that you cannot quite place.

And over his shoulder, you suddenly notice the beam of white light. You see the uniform, then the face. Your own face lights up with joy and his name slides off of your tongue as you fight back tears of joy. "Robert."

You run to meet him, girlish bliss running where hatred once lived. You fall into his arms, hugging him so tightly that it hurts but you don't care. He returns your embrace and you can feel his love, which had only been a memory for so long. And the thrill will last for all eternity because you know that he is still your Robert, no matter what any of you have gone through.

You suddenly become aware of the captain, still standing by your bones looking sorrowfully after them. And the forgiveness that you offered to him can't stop here, you realize. You look into Robert's eyes and know that he understands.

A moment later, the three of you step into the beam of light and begin to soar up to the heavens. And you are in his arms again, realizing that your torment is finally over. Your hatred his transformed into love and you know that everything will be just fine.

One final twist of your mind releases Kristin and you know that she can still see your smile.

_Thank you, Kristin._

_You are welcome, Lillian._


End file.
